What's your Enneagram type, and how do you respond to being accused of something?

[BalalaikaBoy]

curious to see people's responses.

[BalalaikaBoy]

8w9 Sx/Sp
I might respond in any number of ways, but most are some variant of the following

"looks like you've already made up your mind. I'm not going to waste time trying to convince you"
"I thought I already told you I wasn't a good person..."
"yes, I did"
"that's it? I've done a lot worse than that, sweetheart"
"is this the part where I try to explain and you accuse me of making excuses? no thanks. I've seen that movie"

I should clarify though, some of these were developed over time rather than naturally occurring responses. over time, I've just gotten way less patient with people and even less with bullshit witch hunts.

[Full_fathom]

4w3 sp/so

"how could you say that about me"

I'm sorry, i didn't realize i offended you. What do you need to hear from me (2), so I can tailor it into something you can understand? (w3)

"so you think xyz"

No, i was just performing the devil's advocacy, bc i need to identify where you are coming from without directly asking, your response isn't something I wish to manipulate, I'm just attempting to get your un-adulterated 'thing'. Please don't put words in my mouth.

"so this is all about you"

Not at all. I spend perhaps too much effort receiving everyone else, then I act out. When is someone going to ask about me?

"well, if you'd express more, then I'd know what to do with it"

I don't know what to do with me.... again, sorry.

[PleasureToBurn]

3w4, depends what it is. Could play out a few different ways:

-Agree and amp it up. No trust me, it's all true and I'm even worse.

-Retaliate scorched earth style. Loll, that's It? Trust me there's a ton of stuff I could say about you, so if you're done here, allow me to retort..

-Make them look like a clown, discredit them, and turn everyone against them.

-Stay calm and refute all of their points one by one while making them look like the aggressor and making them look like some totally unhinged fool.

-Usually a combination of all of those while doing damage control.

[Qassim]

I don't have a type.

And it depends on whether the accusation is true or not. False accusations will have me standing up, in your face, and shouting at you in outrage and mortal offense.

True accusations (or dumb false ones I don't care about) I tend to play much more coolly. Either denying it calmly or being like, Yep.

[janie]

9w1 (I guess, but really unsure of instinct if this is my core).
I do definitely swallow my anger in order to, I guess, not make myself look crazy or whiny and incriminate myself even more. I definitely react extremely, extremely 9 in this type of situation--unless I am very familiar with the person (family or close friends). Then I just start trying to disprove them while also keeping my cool. But in many situations, I get walked on, causing more repressed anger to build up.
It's very immature and a maladaptive coping mechanism I was conditioned into in childhood, for sure. I may not even have admitted it before, if I would've been asked such a question, partly because I wasn't even as aware of it.
Also, I just wanted to say, I am grateful for receiving this typing on my typing thread. It has been more helpful than I could've anticipated, and helping me get beyond the plateau stage in personal growth that I had reached awhile ago. Quindary

[janie]

[redacted] what makes me unsure about my instincts is the fact that I've been getting "re-typed" from 4 to 9.
My first really "OMG that's me!" experience happened when I heard Beatrice Chestnut explain each countertype, and got to the SP 4. I then read her book, and the two types that resonated the most were SP 4 followed by SX 9. Also, The SP/SO stackings (on another website) sounds the most like me. But, if I really am a 9, I don't think SP 9 fits. Neither do I see myself as a Sx dom.

[[redacted]]

I see. In what way do you relate to the Sp/So stacking?

[janie]

Well, this is all me right here: "...When they do form a connection, loyalty is very important to them and they will not hesitate to end a relationship on grounds of disloyalty. This type may lack a certain degree of interpersonal warmth which can give the impression of coldness or disinterest in others, even a sense of selfishness. May be drawn to groups that attract like minded individuals, as in business clubs or volunteer organizations where a shared professional culture can facilitate social bonds. They tend to live conservatively and dress in an inconspicuously appropriate fashion befitting their status in life. May have a characteristically blunt and direct style of communication that can take others some getting used to...." (source: https://oceanmoonshine9.wordpress.com/type-stackings/ ) But, again, I could be off about myself, and shouldn't put too much stock into short summaries from one blog.

[[redacted]]

I feel like it depends on whether it's true or false, but to be honest I don't have a lot of experience with being accused to draw from. But I think it's false it would bother me to be accused, because it's not true, and I don't like anyone saying untrue shit about me. So I will insist that I did not do it, and if they keep accusing me I will not talk to them.

If it's true, I might become kind of shifty... Like shit, how did they find me out? >_>

[Princess of Hearts]

When it comes to false accusations, depending on situation/person it can range from just sobbing uncontrollably to simply allowing them to believe I did it followed by not refraining from actually doing it in the future.

True ones I'm usually thinking "Duh, what else did you think I'd do?", I can be a little coy about outright admitting it though but in my mind it should be intuitive to know, if not then they don't deserve to know anyway.


Type as 4w3, mysterious stacking.

[inkreservoir]

I type at 7w6; I usually just try to explain myself. If they're really angry over something I don't think is true I might get frustrated.

EDIT: Turns out I'm 2 core!

[La Dame Aux Roses]

2w1, devote the rest of my life to explaining my innocence in great detail

(unless it's true in which case I can't think of a situation where I wouldn't confess but I would still want the person to understand why I did the thing)

But for very minor things I'm embarrassed to correct things (so sometimes if someone misunderstands me to mean something worse than what I meant I'll end up trying to defend the thing they thought I meant for absolutely no reason)