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What is your Relationship to your Physical Beauty?

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    Stumbled upon this quote today, keeps popping up in my mind
    Click image for larger version

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      Male here.

      I'm vain enough to admit that I'm capable of being vain, but I don't promote it. So long as I can experience it, that's enough.

      And when it feels like it's beginning to fall off, (me, I'm beginning to fall off...... 'the next belt hole') I start to buckle down. Maintenance mode. I have a fractured relationship with maintenance mode though, bittersweet to say the least. I enjoy this connection, to the extent of wondering why I ever got away. There's the lactic burn, better sleep. Clear head? I dunno, it hurts more than it used to.

      And it takes longer to get there anymore. At some point you have to reconcile with yourself that you are already age-appropriate. That's life. We get old and then you get even older just waking up the next day.

      Sometimes I fall asleep with the TV on. Some months ago I remember waking up to turn it off and odds-on there would be this gigantic-long commercial playing that featured 'julianne hough'. (lower case for emphasis). She would be talking about her regimen and the fight against age or something to the effect.

      I noticed recently that she is 32 years old. Bitch, shut the front door.


        I grew up transgender. I used to say I "didn't care" about my physical appearance, but the truth was, I hated my body.

        I tried for years to say the body doesn't matter. I wanted to escape the body, to be a non-physical existence. I resented the apparent need for the flesh. This kind of mentality will do a lot to the body. It hunched to hide the features I didn't want. It refused to grow better muscles. I ate what my impulse called me to, not what was good for the body, so it grew into bad habits. I stayed up all hours of night, so the body didn't grow like it should have. So now I am short and find it hard to change the body much.

        That being said, surprisingly, the body still retained its fitness fairly well given all I put it through. Parts of it rotted but most of it is fine, and it still holds me up without huge diseases or problems. And hormones at least help some with it.. albeit not as well as I'd like.

        I think my ultimate problem is, the cleft between me and any kind of physical being grew very large to try to overcome. At the pit of me is a fear of BEING PHYSICAL. I do not like being a physical being. Immersion in my own body scares the shit out of me. It means experiences I can't control or didn't choose. It means powerlessness. And it means a nature I don't feel like I chose, or would have chosen, for myself.

        With that big a gap between me and the flesh, what ties would I have to its physical beauty? I know that I have impact on it, but it is very hard to turn around my personal mentality in this realm, to become OK with being human. The only universal truth among life is that the soul shines through it - and that is the only part of the flesh I truly accept as me. I struggle against this, especially lately, trying to find what will let me accept the flesh as part of me and bring my power back to it, but I find I always retract back to my depths.. the snap back of the stretched rubber band.


        • Animal
          Animal commented
          Editing a comment
          I find physical beauty is so much more than "raw looks." It's in how someone moves, how their personality shines through, how their eyes move when they talk. You have deep compelling eyes because most of your focus goes on the inner mind, so you draw the attention there when you talk. To me, things like that which show certain markers of the soul are what intrigue me. Of course, I cannot be so gracious when talking about my own physical beauty... my own physical body also makes me feel helpless most of the time.

        When I'm doing my best to respect my body, I feel beautiful. When I get lazy and let stuff slip, I feel less so. Usually depression is the primary factor in the latter. But I always have faith in my ability to get back on top of things.

        - basic hygiene (shower, shave, etc.)
        - basic grooming (hair, brows, nails, etc.)
        - getting sufficient sleep
        - drinking sufficient water
        - eating right (no crazy diets or junk, just meat and veg and fruit)
        - daily exercise, pilates, lots of walking
        - well-fitting, well-maintained clothes *that I like wearing*
        - intact healthy habits for coping with stress

        When you treat your body like it has value, it becomes beautiful. Objectively. The care shows through in health and aesthetic.


          physical beauty is extremely important to me. not just for myself, but to make sure my partner is satisfied. I think a lot of people resist this notion because they are allergic to any concept of duty, particularly when it comes to relationships.