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Beauty Tips from a Neotonous Twink

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    Beauty Tips from a Neotonous Twink

    I'm a bit too tired to post a huge routine at the moment, especially as I haven't been doing the best about keeping up on one myself, but I thought it might be a good idea to open with some beauty tips that have helped me stay young, subtle and tantalizing over the years (I'm 28 and still regularly get mistaken for 17 to 20). I'll try to avoid cliches like "east vegetables", "make sure to get a good night's sleep" or "exercise!", because it's a waste of time to read things you've known since age 10 over and over.

    1) avoid soaps that use sodium laurel sulfate (SLS), aka....about...98% of what you find at the store. they will strip the natural oils out of your skin and leave you with hair that looks like a Jewish rabbi (unless you want to go for this look. it does look cool on some people, but I don't happen to be one of them). Dr. Bronner's is a good brand to start with. I use it to make shampoo by mixing it with a bit of coconut oil.
    2) many of us forget to exfoliate. an easy way to restore beautiful looking skin is to take some fine grain sugar, add an oil of your choice (I'm partial to coconut. if your skin is highly comedogenic, jojoba oil works well), and mix it together into a thick, gritty paste. now, simply rub that all over your hands and face for about a minute each, rinse, and enjoy the touch of your baby's bottom-soft skin.
    3) ashwagandha is great for balancing cortisol levels resulting from rising stress and, as a result, is a potent tool against aging.
    4) never try to dress younger than you are. the easiest way to look young is actually to do the opposite: dress a little bit OLDER than you are and it will bring out your best features and cause you to look younger due to the contrast. inversely, the contrast between youthful clothing and mature appearance are an easy way to look creepy if you're a guy or like a used up waitress smoking at a diner if you're a woman.
    5) turmeric masks are an essential for every self-respecting person's routine. simply mix about 5 parts chickpea/garbanzo bean flour with 1 part turmeric, at a dollop of coconut or almond oil and mix in some milk until you get a medium-thick paste. now, lather that on your face (using a spoon works surprisingly well) and let it sit for 20 minutes before rinsing.
    6) Plaid/checkered shirts really only look good on attractive blond country boys (they are a weird exception for whatever reason). For everyone else: if you're skinny, it makes you look skinnier. If you're fat, it makes you look fatter. If you're buff, it makes you look LESS buff, just all around...nope. Bad idea.
    7) At least 90% of people don't have the complexion to look good with blonde hair. If you can pull it off, make sure you invest in a good dye job and pay attention to your roots, or it's not worth doing at all and will just make you look cheap.
    8) Dear black men, sorry, but the if you have really dark skin, those white tees are NOT working for you. Seriously, your face just turned into a shadow, to the point where it's made quite possibly the most kind man I've ever met look intimidating.
    9) Dear younger white men, ditch the facial hair unless you already have very masculine features. In particular, you can go for rugged facial hair OR being a pretty boi, not both.
    10) Dear older white men....Hawaiian shirts? really? you look like a fat corporate dude trying to be hip and look like you're "chill", but in reality, you look like a boring, type A accountant trying to be cool and relatable, and the overall impression is fake as hell. Embrace your age. Wear something that projects wisdom, discernment, AUTHORITY. I'm 28 and I've already been "fuck being hip" for years. That shit is overrated, and at your age, your wardrobe, just like your other life choices, should be about commanding respect.
    11) Unless you do it just right, fuchsia or turquoise eye shadow make you look like a cheap whore from Chicago. Just a heads up.
    12) Style is not about trying to get rid of certain features or create other ones. It's about drawing attention away from where you don't want it and towards where you do.
    13) What's that? You love looking like a "bronze goddess" with your summer tan? Don't get me wrong, naturally bronze skin is beautiful, but if you're a pasty Nordic bitch trying to go for that...enjoy it while it last, cuz yo ass gon' be lookin' like a leather purse by 30 and plagued with skin cancer by 50. Embrace your natural skin tone, because there are plenty of interesting things to do with pale white skin (I love mine. makes it easier to look vampirical).
    14) A ponytail is a last resort for when you have to run out the door and/or hit the gym, not a fashion staple.

    #2
    Originally posted by BalalaikaBoy View Post
    1) avoid soaps that use sodium laurel sulfate (SLS), aka....about...98% of what you find at the store. they will strip the natural oils out of your skin and leave you with hair that looks like a Jewish rabbi (unless you want to go for this look. it does look cool on some people, but I don't happen to be one of them). Dr. Bronner's is a good brand to start with. I use it to make shampoo by mixing it with a bit of coconut oil.
    I use SLS free shampoo & conditioner for the past decade or else I'd have no hair. I didn't think to do this with soap but I guess I should.

    4) never try to dress younger than you are. the easiest way to look young is actually to do the opposite: dress a little bit OLDER than you are and it will bring out your best features and cause you to look younger due to the contrast. inversely, the contrast between youthful clothing and mature appearance are an easy way to look creepy if you're a guy or like a used up waitress smoking at a diner if you're a woman.
    I'm at the age where dressing older would mean dressing like granny. LOL

    9) Dear younger white men, ditch the facial hair unless you already have very masculine features. In particular, you can go for rugged facial hair OR being a pretty boi, not both.
    So much agreement.

    13) What's that? You love looking like a "bronze goddess" with your summer tan? Don't get me wrong, naturally bronze skin is beautiful, but if you're a pasty Nordic bitch trying to go for that...enjoy it while it last, cuz yo ass gon' be lookin' like a leather purse by 30 and plagued with skin cancer by 50. Embrace your natural skin tone, because there are plenty of interesting things to do with pale white skin (I love mine. makes it easier to look vampirical).
    Yup, I never understood this trend for so many reasons, since the end result doesn't even look good. But then beyond that, it's also a symptom of a sick culture. Let's torture and dehumanize colored people, and make them feel like second-rate appearance compared to white people, and then make ourselves look just like them! Let's inject fat into our butts and boobs so our body looks like only a black woman's body could look; not to mention injecting for bigger lips; and get dreds and dye our skin darker. I mean I also find those features beautiful when they're natural, but c'mon people.

    I'm 28 and I've already been "fuck being hip" for years. That shit is overrated, and at your age, your wardrobe, just like your other life choices, should be about commanding respect.
    I've never cared about 'being hip' - my body has always been a canvas upon which to tell my story. My clothes and jewelry are symbols of something deep within my inner world.... something Erosian, if you will. It also had to make me look good, but I would actually choose something 'accurate' to my inner world and colors which looks 'good enough' on my figure, rather than something that looks great on my figure but doesn't represent me.
    But as I got older I started caring more about things like 'elegance' and 'class.' I always did have a natural sense of how to make something wild and expressive look really classy. But it's even further than that. I gained weight so the need to accentuate my better parts is stronger than ever. I can't tell my 'androgynous' story as well because my figure changed. But I do fit into 'womanly' clothes now. There are different things to consider since the 'canvas' has changed. But also, I want to look like I have money because this will put me in a mindset to get money.
    Last edited by Animal; 11-15-2019, 10:10 AM.

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      #3
      My beauty tips:

      1. Wash your face with hot water every night. The hot water opens up your pores. Once the pores are open, use soap. (Defer to @BalalaikaBoy about the soap.) Once your face has been soaped, wash it off with cold water. This closes the pores.

      2. Wear sunscreen, even in the winter - if you're out for more than 10 minutes. My personal choice is 100Spf when I can find it.

      3. Absolutely NO foundation (makeup). NONE, EVER.

      4. Don't smoke at all, ever. If you drink, make it one drink with dinner - and rarely. Keep it classy.

      I've been doing the first two since I was 15, and the third all my life. The fourth; I never smoked but I did drink for a few years - bad animal! However, I quit completely in 2006.

      Though I've suffered through chronic illness, medications and symptoms that dry my skin out or make me break out, make me lose hair etc; my skin is still perfect. I just turned 39 last month. I just woke up, haven't washed, soaped or done anything. This is what my skin looks like.

      Click image for larger version  Name:	image_568.jpg Views:	0 Size:	130.7 KB ID:	2510
      Last edited by Animal; 11-15-2019, 10:46 AM.

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      • BalalaikaBoy
        BalalaikaBoy commented
        Editing a comment
        you have gorgeous skin, so I'm going to have to keep that in mind (also...still not seeing this supposed "hair loss" you keep talking about. your hair looks fine)

      • Animal
        Animal commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you ! And my hair comes and goes with the illness. How sick I am doesn't necessarily correspond to how good my hair is; it's about exactly what part of the illness affects me for that time etc. Right now despite my other problems, my hair is doing fairly well.

      #4
      ''7) At least 90% of people don't have the complexion to look good with blonde hair. If you can pull it off, make sure you invest in a good dye job and pay attention to your roots, or it's not worth doing at all and will just make you look cheap.''

      BalalaikaBoy Actually, I plan on dying my hair blond and my goal is for it to grow like 2 or 3 inches longer and not dye my roots, cause I love the way it looks like that.
      Turning pain into power.

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      #5
      ''1. Wash your face with hot water every night. The hot water opens up your pores. Once the pores are open, use soap. (Defer to @BalalaikaBoy about the soap.) Once your face has been soaped, wash it off with cold water. This closes the pores."

      Animal Yup, I also once a week or so use a charcoal mask after washing it with hot water, so that the pores open and for the mask to wash any blackheads and impurity away.

      You have amazing skin!
      Last edited by RALA; 11-20-2019, 09:29 PM.
      Turning pain into power.

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      • Animal
        Animal commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you!!!!

      #6



      Last edited by hiddenglass; 12-28-2019, 02:04 PM. Reason: “the usual.”

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