I was inspired by Volcana's thread on seduction, so I'd thought I'd ask anyone who is currently in a relationship or has had one in the past, how did your partner seduce you? What worked and what didn't?
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The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of Night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.
I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me
That my soul cannot resist:
A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain. -
This is the overall gist of how my boyfriend seduced me
. I mean that along with throwing ice cubes down the back of my shirt at work.
The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of Night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.
I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me
That my soul cannot resist:
A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain. -
For me, it's a trick question. I don't tend to 'get seduced.' I hone in on my prey and work my magic. Once I decide who I want, there's nothing he can do that will ruin that. I don't desire people just because they're hot - I study my prey from every angle and the fire grows stronger. By the time I'm burning alive, it's too late for either of us to escape the inferno. I will have him, or I will die trying.
The difference is that in most cases, I have my way and then move on. It's not in the seduction phase (which I see as "me seducing him" ) - but rather, the relationship phase - where someone can lose my interest.
So how did Daeva a keep my interest? How did he move me out of seduction mode and into surrendering my soul? That tricksy little devil.
From the start, I knew in my gut that he was the real deal. When I saw his eyes on his facebook banner I recognized my soulmate - but I didn't think that in words. In general, I rarely think in words - but I had this sense that I'd always known him.
He grabbed my attention in the first few days of PM, with how he responded to my concerns about illness and romance. Everything he said was exactly what I wanted to hear, and matched my values - and it felt sincere.
What a charmer.
Nonetheless, I was having issues with another man. It wasn't someone I was romantic or sexual with, but I had obsessed over him for a while. When Daeva and I started talking, I told him about it. My soul was ready for him but my heart was playing tricks. I was having trouble door-slamming this other guy for reasons beyond the romantic - we had been through some suffering together and spilled our hearts over chat.
So I needed to make sense of my feelings and I told Daeva that I needed time. But he was ready to meet, and didn't want to wait. He refused to drag out some long online "maybe." He wanted to feel me, see me, right away - and then at least we would have an answer. I loved his immediacy, honesty and innocence here. He was not playing games. He was right there, ready, honest, and expecting only the best. Of anyone I've ever taken romantic interest in, he was the only one who was not only completely open about how strong he felt without any bullshit manipulation, but also told me his boundaries. His delivery was simple and gentle, but crystal clear.
I wanted to be able to give of myself completely, but I didn't feel ready. I started backing away a little, and he got pissed off and told me not to block him out. He didn't mind hearing about my deep feelings for someone else; what bothered him was that I wasn't communicating. Whatever I felt, whatever I suffered... he wanted to be in it with me. He could not go half way.
Lo and behold - he owned me. This was all I ever wanted -- someone who wanted to be with me, completely as I am, no matter what - who could handle any part of me, but would not tolerate being apart. Purrfect! We both didn't want to 'date' or commit until we met in person, but I sensed he was it.
His actions were consistent with the beautiful words he said in PM - he was there for me no matter what. And indeed, we overcame. Together.
I told him to come visit me and he got here within a month (it would have been overnight, but he needed visa papers). The third day he said "I love you," and I almost responded, "Let's get married." I decided not to since I hadn't even met his family on camera yet, and I felt like I needed to. During that week I talked to them on camera and by the end of the week I informed him: "You're moving here and marrying me." It wasn't a question or a demand; it was a matter-of-fact statement. His response was "Normally, if a woman said that so fast, I'd be scared... but I'm not afraid."
Normally, if a guy responded that way, I'd be terrified of rejection - but I knew he was mine.
Within a few days he said shyly.... "So, you still want to get married?"
The rest is history.Last edited by Animal; 10-22-2019, 08:46 PM.Comment
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Honestly, I was seduced because he tried really hard to NOT seduce me. I was going through a major life transformation, and he didn't want to make it worse. But he was my best friend during that time. We would stay awake all night talking, listening to music, smoking, talking about theology and philosophy. He had already decided he was going to marry me before he was even on my radar. Eventually it became really hard for him to remain just a friend, but he wanted to give me more space, so he took an extended vacation to visit his parents out of state. But he still called me every day he was gone, and it was the separation that made me realize I loved him. Once we were official, he wrote me beautiful letters and romantic in a way I had never experienced. He showed me an almost overwhelming amount of devotion.
We've been married almost 10 years and it's not like it was. We've had a lot of lows. But we're still plugging along.
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note: I firmly believe that I cannot be seduced (romantically) by lies.Comment
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