Angle 1) Due to chance and circumstance, you end up with someone, but it could have been so many other people, too.
Tim Minchin claims:
Your love is one in a million
You couldn't buy it at any price
But of the 9.999 hundred thousand other loves
Statistically, some of them would be equally nice
Lyrics:
SPOILER
His approach is to claim circumstances lead to more circumstances and he ended up with someone wonderful, but if things had gone differently, he might have ended up equally happy with someone else. In the song he mentions statistic probability.
Angle 2) You can love someone who fits a certain "archetype."
The idea here is that you can love many people, but they have to be a certain "archetype." Astrology talks about ideal synastry between couples, socionics claims your "dual" is your ideal match, and so on. The idea is that your 'archetype' calls for a complimentary 'archetype' and this would lead to a more ideal relationship. However, that archetype can be found in many people; it's not limited to just 'your soulmate.' Some people learn systems of archetypes for the sake of understanding their psyche and that of their 'ideal match,' and thus search for partners who fit that archetype. For example you might see an ad on a dating site like: "Female Libra seeking a male Aries."
Angle 3) Soulmates, Fate, or God's Plan
There are many ways to view the meaning of 'soulmates.' Is it two people whose souls were one, separated at birth? Is it two who meet each other in past lives and future lives? Is it simply God's plan? Either way, this angle claims that there's one person out there for you, and no one else would reach the same heights with you.
Some would say that no matter how broken you are, no matter how wrong the time in your life is, and no matter how difficult the logistics - meeting your soulmate will heal you both. The dynamic itself is the ideal, and the rest falls into place. Some will search forever for their soulmate while others will resign that they were not destined to find their soulmate during this lifetime, and commit to being single or to marrying someone else.
Angle 4) Chemical attraction
Simple. Love is driven mostly by chemicals. We are all animals, and the point of sex and attraction is to reproduce. The person whose chemicals fit certain equations are the ones we are most drawn to. There are tests to determine how this works, such as men sweating into a shirt and a woman smelling it, and scientists measuring how much it turned her on. I heard about a study that proved this sweat scent matched the woman's father. I'm not claiming that's true, as I didn't see the study myself, but just pointing out that this is the sort of dialogue around this idea.
Angle 5) The Shadow Self is confronted in Love
Many people - not to mention, psychoanalysts over the years - would claim romantic attraction is a way to confront your own shadows. Today, I see conversations claiming our ideal partner is a projection of your own anima or animus. The idea is, without this 'shadow play,' love is inadequate. The passion is missing. Of course, this last view is not mutually exclusive from the others, but it's an additional 'factor' involved in what makes a relationship desirable.
I touched on this in my song, here - although it was about desire, not 'ideal relationship.' But you can extrapolate.
SPOILER
The idea is that the lover embodies the shadow part of ourselves. In my particular case, I lived in this shadow for years and strove to improve, but this man embodied that lifestyle. My lust compelled me to return to my old ways, but I needed to resist to make my life meaningful. So he symbolized a conflict inside myself. Some might say this person was 'bad for me,' but some might get involved in these dark relationships and believe that both parties could come out the other side, healed.
Angle 6) Self-work & Commitment/ LOA
Law of Attraction falls under the same umbrella as 'Self work' where love is concerned. It is the idea that you can't love anyone else until you love yourself, and as long as you work on yourself, you'll attract someone to your energy. Books like The Art of Seduction, by Robert Greene, offer tips to allure people in general - and PUA is a modern offshoot of this school of thought. But some approaches are more soulful than others. For instance, many LOA practitioners would tie this into working on yourself, confronting your own shadow and healing your wounds.
Angle 7) Love Grows
This is the principle that allows arranged marriages to survive. It also explains the sentiment: "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." Today, many relationships start with attraction or pregnancy, and then evolve into situations where someone must work to keep the passion alive. Some would argue that all relationships will end up this way, so we might as well learn to make it work with our current partner, rather than running away to pursue some fantasy ideal of a perfect relationship. "Perfection is the enemy of good," or so they say. Love would be seen as a product of commitment, time, and sharing experience.
___________
There may be other views I've left out. If so, feel free to mention them! Also, the ideas on the list are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
That said, What is your take on this? How do you imagine love comes to be? How do you (or did you) seek love?
Tim Minchin claims:
Your love is one in a million
You couldn't buy it at any price
But of the 9.999 hundred thousand other loves
Statistically, some of them would be equally nice
Lyrics:
SPOILER
His approach is to claim circumstances lead to more circumstances and he ended up with someone wonderful, but if things had gone differently, he might have ended up equally happy with someone else. In the song he mentions statistic probability.
Angle 2) You can love someone who fits a certain "archetype."
The idea here is that you can love many people, but they have to be a certain "archetype." Astrology talks about ideal synastry between couples, socionics claims your "dual" is your ideal match, and so on. The idea is that your 'archetype' calls for a complimentary 'archetype' and this would lead to a more ideal relationship. However, that archetype can be found in many people; it's not limited to just 'your soulmate.' Some people learn systems of archetypes for the sake of understanding their psyche and that of their 'ideal match,' and thus search for partners who fit that archetype. For example you might see an ad on a dating site like: "Female Libra seeking a male Aries."
Angle 3) Soulmates, Fate, or God's Plan
There are many ways to view the meaning of 'soulmates.' Is it two people whose souls were one, separated at birth? Is it two who meet each other in past lives and future lives? Is it simply God's plan? Either way, this angle claims that there's one person out there for you, and no one else would reach the same heights with you.
Some would say that no matter how broken you are, no matter how wrong the time in your life is, and no matter how difficult the logistics - meeting your soulmate will heal you both. The dynamic itself is the ideal, and the rest falls into place. Some will search forever for their soulmate while others will resign that they were not destined to find their soulmate during this lifetime, and commit to being single or to marrying someone else.
Angle 4) Chemical attraction
Simple. Love is driven mostly by chemicals. We are all animals, and the point of sex and attraction is to reproduce. The person whose chemicals fit certain equations are the ones we are most drawn to. There are tests to determine how this works, such as men sweating into a shirt and a woman smelling it, and scientists measuring how much it turned her on. I heard about a study that proved this sweat scent matched the woman's father. I'm not claiming that's true, as I didn't see the study myself, but just pointing out that this is the sort of dialogue around this idea.
Angle 5) The Shadow Self is confronted in Love
Many people - not to mention, psychoanalysts over the years - would claim romantic attraction is a way to confront your own shadows. Today, I see conversations claiming our ideal partner is a projection of your own anima or animus. The idea is, without this 'shadow play,' love is inadequate. The passion is missing. Of course, this last view is not mutually exclusive from the others, but it's an additional 'factor' involved in what makes a relationship desirable.
I touched on this in my song, here - although it was about desire, not 'ideal relationship.' But you can extrapolate.
SPOILER
The idea is that the lover embodies the shadow part of ourselves. In my particular case, I lived in this shadow for years and strove to improve, but this man embodied that lifestyle. My lust compelled me to return to my old ways, but I needed to resist to make my life meaningful. So he symbolized a conflict inside myself. Some might say this person was 'bad for me,' but some might get involved in these dark relationships and believe that both parties could come out the other side, healed.
Angle 6) Self-work & Commitment/ LOA
Law of Attraction falls under the same umbrella as 'Self work' where love is concerned. It is the idea that you can't love anyone else until you love yourself, and as long as you work on yourself, you'll attract someone to your energy. Books like The Art of Seduction, by Robert Greene, offer tips to allure people in general - and PUA is a modern offshoot of this school of thought. But some approaches are more soulful than others. For instance, many LOA practitioners would tie this into working on yourself, confronting your own shadow and healing your wounds.
Angle 7) Love Grows
This is the principle that allows arranged marriages to survive. It also explains the sentiment: "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." Today, many relationships start with attraction or pregnancy, and then evolve into situations where someone must work to keep the passion alive. Some would argue that all relationships will end up this way, so we might as well learn to make it work with our current partner, rather than running away to pursue some fantasy ideal of a perfect relationship. "Perfection is the enemy of good," or so they say. Love would be seen as a product of commitment, time, and sharing experience.
___________
There may be other views I've left out. If so, feel free to mention them! Also, the ideas on the list are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
That said, What is your take on this? How do you imagine love comes to be? How do you (or did you) seek love?
. However, my gut tells me it's not the case for others. I had those visions for a reason, presumably. It's likely that most people have a variety of people they can be happy with so long as they fit certain parameters. But I tuned into the cosmos willfully and determined to find 'the one.'
Comment