Multiple Southern women have accused me of being a Gone With the Wind fanboy, usually after a conversation gives me an excuse to word something in an antiquated manner like "Rest assured, my dear. The years punish us all", or "My apologies, that hasn't been in stock since before the war (in Ukraine) started".

I don't find this offensive. In fact, it's funny and a little flattering, but sometimes I feel like there is a relative disconnect between my relatively dishonorable/selfish values vs my more honorable/gentlemanly temperament. I know it isn't learned, because people have been commenting on it since I was like 3 years old. With regards to both, I feel neither shame nor pride, but I sometimes fear the latter will one day convince me to do something very, very stupid, like making an impulsive sacrifice for someone I care about and cutting my life short before I could even begin to accomplish my goals.

I don't want to be a hero. I don't want to be a fool who sacrifices himself for "honor" or "justice". I want to be a survivor, an explorer, a builder, a creator of beauty and a devoted husband and father.