Which courting dynamic works best for you?

[Animal]

Pick the best option and discuss in the comments! You can only pick one, but if you like other options, let me know, if you so choose! Also, let me know if I left out anything!

Note that you can only vote once. We don't have 'unvote' as of yet.

[Animal]

Very, very close tie between these:

1. I want to open up about our inner lives until we fall into our own world.
2. I want someone to be my muse and fall in love with my art.
3. I want to entice each other through a beautiful 'mating dance.' (Arts, clothes, impressiveness.)


I chose the first, by a hair, because it has lead to better and realer relationships. Even when I was in highschool, my best relationship began by opening up, sharing secrets, inner worlds and fantasies. The caveat is that I need a lot of time to observe someone from afar before I'm drawn in. My first boyfriend and I observed each other without any interaction except eye contact, for years.

In real life, eye contact is key. Online, I also need subtle cues, like him posting after me, likes etc. I am possessive and want to know that I stand out to him, and I want to see that if I push on the world subtly, he is right there responding. I want to weigh this against his responses to others. I'm basically looking for the virtual equivalent of "eye contact." A sign that we are watching each other. Then, once I do contact him, I'm ready to spill my soul.

That said, I occasionally ended up obsessing over someone from afar, and confessing my feelings into music, art and fantasy. In these cases, I dreamed I would write a masterpiece about my muse and he would fall in love with me when I played it at a show, singing into his eyes, and having specific references to him that he would recognize - as a "confession" of my deep love. Although I lost my voice and this partially crushed the fantasy since the audience could no longer hear my lyrics, I found other ways to do this, like recording at home and giving guys CD's, leaving them hints of songs on myspace, etc. I also gave them books, stories and poems I wrote about them. This lifestyle lead to me objectifying people as art muses and "suffering in silence" to make the art perfect and worthy of them while I hid my feelings. A regular confession simply would not suffice; I needed to give him something that befit the power of my passion for him.

The outcome was never as beautiful as the process of shedding blood, sweat and tears for the sake of this perfect confession. While I enjoyed the art that came from it, and the romanticism of being a martyr, I did not end up in good relationships this way.

Beyond that, I can win a lot of people over with art and effort, but very few are able to join me in Erosia. So, the first option wins out over the second. My soulmate and I share, and build, our home planet.

The third option is an absolute necessity. I won't notice someone unless there's a mating dance of sorts, ideally including eye contact, but aesthetics make it even more exciting. Even on perc, the dance was avatars, pictures and beautiful poetic posts. I noticed guys whose language revealed their soul, their brilliance, their aesthetic.

Nonetheless, the first option wins out again. There were several guys who I 'danced' with, using arts, cleverness and beauty, throughout my life, online and off. However, only very few made it deep into my inner world, and had enough in their own inner world to invite me in. Only one, Daeva , has an inner world and aesthetic that perfectly dances with mine, both on Earth and in Erosia. Also, we watched each other for a year online, subtly cueing each other that we were watching, and leaving our art stuff in our signatures so we could spy on each other.

[MountainFlower]