What advice would you give to inexperienced/young people of the same type?

[Vive]

Life can be hard. Some people struggle through adulthood, some people have it easy. At some point though, we all sometimes fall flat with our faces in the proverbial mud. For some, it is necessary to fall down to the absolute bottom before they realize what they have been doing wrong or what the've misunderstood. It is not always necessary for people to fall flat on their face, though, which it why it's nice that there's advice that can help you to sometimes nip problems in the bud before they become truly limiting.

In the spirit of what I've written above: what advice would you give to younger / less experienced people of your type. What kind of things would you wish they avoid? Do you think there are issues they won't be able to avoid, that they have to confront head on? If so, what would those be?

I'll start:

The advice I would give to a lot of nines, is to realize how much energy it costs when you do not discuss your needs with others. Note how discounted you can feel, how you can feel so small when people cross your boundaries. I know you don't want to endanger your friendship, but think of this: if you never confront them about what your needs are, how will they know? You might think subtle hinting might help, and sometimes it does, but it is often better to communicate where you stand calmly, telling them what your perspective is. If you let the conflict stew without really talking, I can guarantee you that you will at some point become frustrated, angry and the other person will not know what to do with that, or you might become numb, not caring much about what you do together with the other person, as you feel incredibly discounted. Keep holding everything in and you will slowly increase the likelihood of conflict and alienating yourself from your friend more and more. At least try to talk and discuss your needs and boundaries with your friends. If that doesn't work out and you still get into conflict, well, then I suggest trying to make new friends who actually are able to respect your needs and boundaries.

[Animal]

This is an amazing thread topic.

The first thing that popped into mind is: I don't know about other fours, but I would advise my younger self to invest in the stock market.

Then I asked myself: why didn't I invest in the stock market? Is this related to my enneagram type? A large percentage of people don't invest and I am one of the many.

So then I thought: I didn't invest because I was more focused on honing the skills to express my feelings and passions, and leading my projects to bring my dreams to fruition, than I was focused on reading dry material about intangible things. But isn't this the case for most young people? Compared to my friends, I think I had a strong work ethic. I always saved money and was fiscally responsible, as well as disciplined when I decided that something mattered. So I don't want to advise other fours to 'pay more attention to money and other dry material' at the expense of focusing on their passions, since I actually believe that I balanced these things quite well. And I would not take back any of my passion projects for the world. So, I don't think fours necessarily need to hear this, but I would tell them nonetheless that they only live once, and if they have strong passion for something, they should give it their all - just like I did. You never know when you'll die, get sick, lose your faculties, etc. Throw your heart into what you do, and don't worry about the naysayers. Just stay focused and disciplined. Don't lose sight of your vision, and fight for it with everything you have. Follow your heart - that's how you are built. And when you start beating yourself up because you're broke, then turn your situation around. But never forget that you did it for the love, and for that, it was worth it.

[SnatchYourWeave]

Oh Man. Younger SLEs... I don't think I'm an authority on how an SLE can improve because I know SLEs think in their minds that they're infallible. Maybe I'd just say, yes, the world is full of stupid people. Take advantage of what lays before you and go for it. Burn bridges if it's necessary, not out of contempt for others who want to curb your will. Seek out strong people who'll accept you and support you and disregard the ones who doubt you because they're too weak to comprehend and ineffective.

[Quindary]

To a younger me.

Don't give up on the realistic pursuit of your passions. Don't move on from situations because others pressured you to. Take the time you need to have the experiences, get the background, and do the things you want, because they lead to the places you really needed to get to but life makes it harder as you go on, and if you fail to go through with your pursuits in the real world instead of just in your head, you're going to miss out.

[[redacted]]

Maybe something along the lines of, be willing to take more risks, or make mistakes or look stupid. Because I'm probably gonna do something dumb no matter what so better to get it out of the way early and I can have some fun along the way, and experience. Hard to say what kinda advice my younger self would be willing to listen to, though.

Also the feeling of being trapped is mostly an illusion, more often than not.

[Qassim]

If I can be just perfectly unpleasant here, I think I'd advise them to kill themselves.

I do not like my type, and most people I meet of my type, especially the young ones, need a serious ass-kicking.

Other people don't like my type. My type is profoundly useless and humanity would be better off without us. No one will ever be able to convince me otherwise.

I'm not being dramatic btw, I just hate my type and really think we should all take a hike.

If it were advice to myself specifically...I mean, nothing type related, because I'm not an obvious example of my type (I'm not saying I suck less, just that it isn't obvious until you really get to know me, and even then not really). I'd just tell myself to INSIST that my mother pay for me to move into the dorms for just ONE YEAR because I totally missed out on being young, and I feel staying at my parents' house basically determined this. Huge, huge regret in my life that I will never get over.

[SnatchYourWeave]

[Qassim]

I am an Ne-dom actually. It's not the part of myself I dislike. I consider it a good thing that life is an adventure and changes on a dime; I like understanding the past and present and knowing the future before it happens; people think I'm psychic; I don't think I have problems making decisions or missing opportunities, although I know Nes who have, specifically because of Ne. I do see myself as a lousy decision maker, but think this is due to other reasons than my Ne. I have legit bad karma.

My biggest problem with Ne is that everything seems interesting, yet I seem to have no overarching passion to drive me (except running my own country and commanding my own military, but how likely is that to ever happen?), so I tend to go through life without any guidance. I have had trouble settling on a career, although I will probably continue on as an English teacher.

No, I'm talking about my enneagram type, which I've learned is futile to talk about with others, so I didn't mention it here. Yet I hate it. HATE IT. Not even because of my own experience (it ruined my life) but because of other people of that type. They are losers. Put us all onto a boat and sink us. I tell ya.

[SpiritoftheGael]

I don't think someone of my type would ask me or anyone else for much advice so probably nothing. lol. ? I was always pretty happy to just do what I wanted regardless of how it ended up, so idk?? I don't actually regret much of anything. If anything I guess I would just learn to relax, but I still haven't learned that yet. It's easy to get really overwhelmed and anxious when you're trying to control and keep track of everything and never fall apart. I mean I know perfectly well what I should do, but it's not very easy to let go when you think everything will crumble apart if you're not hyper aware all the time.

[Animal]

I think SpiritoftheGael has a point-- and it applies to my type too ? I am not always the most receptive to advice. I welcome advice and I'm grateful to anyone who offers it, but I decide what to do based on my own experience. I wonder if I'd even listen to my older self, if I could talk to her.