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Also, of course there is fear in every fixation. ie. The fear of being controlled, the fear of making a mistake/corruption, the fear of separation, etc.
How do these fears intertwine with or interact with the head centre? Does it or is it separate from the head centre fears in your experience?
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This is a really good question that I've been wondering about. I will come back to this.Originally posted by ledyanoy View PostThe day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of Night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.
I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me
That my soul cannot resist:
A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain.Comment
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I tend to feel overwhelmed, somewhat numb. Usually it doesn't show on the surface, but my first instinct is to try to get away, retreat to my cave and figure out how I can overcome it.How do you experience it?
mostly I kinda bury it, but this takes unconscious energy and I notice I tend to slow down, sometimes significantlyWhat is your relationship with fear? Do you welcome it? Take it for granted as normal and just deal with it? Hardly ever if at all feel it? Dread it? Respect it? Or something else?
- feeling overwhelmed by school workWhat sorts of scenarios bring it on for you? How do you handle and express it - or not?
- feeling incompetent overall
- someone I care about being in danger
working out tends to give me greater physical confidence. it helps me stay present, not drift off to my lair whenever I feel stressed. unfortunately, the normal strategy of willing my way through doesn't work on the subjects that typically cause this stress. you can't approach statistics homework like "rawr! I'm pumped for this workout!"Do you have some clarity on how it derives from one of the head/fear fixations, be it either your lead or one of your other fixations.
If so, have you made any improvements on unproductive patterns, changed the way you respond since knowing or found any insights to share from your own experience or from knowing and learning from someone who has?
I type Jordan Peterson as a Social 5 with a 1 fix, and I admire his developed sense of boldness and authority, especially in the face of all the polemic vitriol he gets from the idpol crowd.Have you known a 5,6, or 7 whom you admire for having overcome or dealt with their particular brand of fear in an exemplary way?Comment
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What brings it on can be:
-nervousness about some new situation, I'm the kind of person who always overprepares and arrives places early and I go through all the steps many times in my head
-very fearful and hesitant with physical things and obstacles
-social anxiety, and other relational things but that is more complex that what the word fear makes me think of
-sometimes have claustrophobia and I just completely freeze up and can't force myself to move unless someone takes me by the hand and leads me, a few other phobias too
-...ghosts, and the dark, I still sleep with lights on
certainly the least of my problems though
(speaking only for myself and how it's expressed in my personality, I know that many 6's and 6 fixers are the opposite of this)
I was thinking about the instinct-fix connection theory that I just found out about the other day and I think I have a Sexual 6 fix, had a bit of an epiphany
At first I assumed my 6 was SP because I'm quite openly fearful and don't think I should be stronger than I am, strenght and confidence aren't very important concepts for me. But I realized a large part of the compulsion for me is attracting support, the way I deal with fear is by externalizing it and not fully coming in contact with it and instead projecting it onto things I know better how to deal with rather than figuring out on my own what to do with myself and my head, how to overcome my fears by myself and for myself. I think that is why it can be a very confusing emotion for me to talk about.
I also relate a lot to the beauty aspect of sexual 6, I often equate beauty with permission to be fragile, or crazy, or really anything, if you are pretty you will always be endearing to anyone that counts. I always wanted to be pretty when crying, and when angry, in part because that's when you need it the most as a woman if you want someone to care.
It is not a very good strategy in the long run and ultimately it's self defeating, I realized I had many depressive episodes revolving pretty much around consequences of this attitude.
Admitting it to myself and that it's not really working anymore is really hard.
I still can't help but feel like it should work, I don't know how to have any other attitudes towards life.
For instance thinking about finishing school, finding a job, going through many things it requires that I am terrified of, it makes me panic, I don't know what to do with myself when I try to think through things soberly, really focusing on on my fears, what I think and the way my mind is, not trying to play mind games with both myself and others.
When it comes to fear and autonomy I learned to focus more on other people's stance towards it, like "My father thinks I should be more independent (what a funny man)", rather than "I should want to be more independent". The former is my home base and feels like a natural exchange between us, something he has to say, and the latter is new and represents pure panic and uncertainty about everything.Comment
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How do you experience it?
Like icicles penetrating my brain. It can be quite overwhelming and my instinct is to avoid the source of my fear at all cost as I feel like it would destroy me. Yet fear can also be enlivening, like electricity, excitement. Then there's PTSD, which is in a way its own thing from "normal" fear, the best way of which I can think to describe it is that it's like being sucked inside a black hole.
What is your relationship with fear? Do you welcome it? Take it for granted as normal and just deal with it? Hardly ever if at all feel it? Dread it? Respect it? Or something else?
...I feel I partly answered this with the previous question, but I'm used to feeling anxious most of the time. Like being trapped inside a nightmare I want to escape, but in a way, I can be overly attached to feelings of helplessness as well, as a type of defense and also there's an erotic element to it... I used to be obsessed with rape fantasies, though I don't usually involve myself in my fantasies so it can be a way to create a layer of distance as well.
What sorts of scenarios bring it on for you? How do you handle and express it - or not?
Not knowing what to expect, the general chaos of life. At the same time, I don't deal well with being trapped within structures, so that causes some conflict with myself.
Any threat of physical pain... can't stand physical pain, and I'm terrified of death. But also embarrassment. I was just trying to look at a story I was working on a while ago, as one of the characters in the story was dealing with anxiety and it would be relevant, but I can't look at my old stuff without panicking. I suppose it's a form of social anxiety, as I'm afraid of humiliation. Not just because of technical flaws like poor writing, but because it sort of reveals a few things about my preferences in an awkward way. The funny thing is that I can be rather candid about this kind of thing, but once it's out there it's out of my control.
Do you have some clarity on how it derives from one of the head/fear fixations, be it either your lead or one of your other fixations.
Maybe...Comment
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I only really experience fear with phobias. And sometimes, I get like mini panic attacks. Like only a few seconds, but it's usually due to thinking about internal body functions like my heart beating or brain activity. Any sort of talk like that freaks me the fuck out. I think it goes back to thinking that if you can will yourself to live, couldn't you also will yourself to die, force a heart attack or a seizure or some shit. Reading about spontaneous human combustion freaks me out too.
But aside from the body stuff and some phobias around certain bugs, the only thing I really fear is the death of someone close to me and being cheated on in a relationship.
There's a lot more that I probably should fear, or situations where it would have been normal, but things like having a gun in my face, witnessing violent crime, life and death situations, I never really felt any fear, and later on after the fact, it kind if registered to me how dangerous the whole thing was.Comment
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Well, it's tricky to really explain, but I associate this with fear or how I feel things are:
How straightforward the game
When one is free from distraction!
When your only concern
Is laid out so clearly before you
64 squares
They're the reason you know you exist
(Seems like linking to a specific part doesn't work, but well I was mostly thinking about those lyrics... the music adds a nice touch though)Last edited by [redacted]; 12-15-2019, 05:09 AM.Comment
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When I feel fear I feel my spine go weird and then I kinda go Mikasa Ackerman, have full control of my body, being hyperaware and it feels like my body isn't a body but rather a series of paths (kek) of interconnected electricity.
It's only when whatever triggered it is over do I get heart palpitations and the freaking out part... when im safe
swear to god im not a titan shifter lol
"If you are God, and the delusion becomes reality,
About what kind of the noids you get?
Is it the sensual world? The despotic society?
The destructive sanctions?
Or..."
-Chaos;Head title screenComment
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I find it... embarrassing!! Fear doesn't really come to me as an emotion, I usually don't really notice it until I'm realizing it's holding me back from something or keeping me distracted. I know intellectually that fear has its uses, that it's helpful for survival, et cetera, but I also grew up as a kid who literally couldn't think of anything when someone asked me what I'm afraid of, and it's frustrating as an adult to knock on closed doors and realize the reason I never opened it is because I was afraid. I think fear is honestly very adult, but when I have to come face to face with how big of a hold it has on me it just seems so juvenile.Comment
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How do you experience it?
What is your relationship with fear? Do you welcome it? Take it for granted as normal and just deal with it? Hardly ever if at all feel it? Dread it? Respect it? Or something else?
I think what I wrote above speaks volumes as to my relationship with it.
What sorts of scenarios bring it on for you? How do you handle and express it - or not?
Do you have some clarity on how it derives from one of the head/fear fixations, be it either your lead or one of your other fixations.
If so, have you made any improvements on unproductive patterns, changed the way you respond since knowing or found any insights to share from your own experience or from knowing and learning from someone who has?
I just shared all I had, sorry.
Have you known a 5,6, or 7 whom you admire for having overcome or dealt with their particular brand of fear in an exemplary way?
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