I'm inferior Se (well unconscious Se according to CT development levels), so I can either ignore or be extremely sensitive to sensory input. I don't really pay attention to my internal sensory experience so I can't really comment on that. But for the longest time, I've always been enamored with art, both aesthetically and symbolically. Aesthetics has always been a fascination of mine as it revs up my Ni with metaphysical and symbolic musings. Art and aesthetics are never without context and it's a joy to parse out the meanings of these things. With that, my experience of the sensory world is highly impressionistic, creating a simulacra-like experience of reality. I need Se to ground and give my impressions body and impact, and to experience a sense of flow with the world around me. Too much layering of direct experience creates a dissociative detachment from it, and reality becomes a ever more impressionistic and surreal simulacra. When I eventually get out of my fugue state, I can experience reality and direct sensory input as a bit of an uncanny yet welcome interruption from my normal flow. I can live in my mind while the whole world passes by. Somewhere else, I wrote about my relationship to Se:
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Well, I'm an artist (though I have mixed feelings with it these days) in part because of feeling enamored with certain aesthetics/sensory archetypes. A way of trying to possess beauty I suppose, as I can draw anything... as long as I can figure out how.
I tend to enjoy the sensory world in general, but trying to talk about it feels annoying. Like when someone goes on about the "beauty of nature" it makes me want to throw up on them because it sounds so wanky and dumb, but... well. The urge to throw up is fairly sensuous in its own way. =P
But yeah, some things are so beautiful it gives me a boner in my usually desolate soul. I don't know how to explain it better than that.Comment
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