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"Eights are REAL and FIGHT ALL THE TIME" - The age old misconception, and my Retort.

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    "Eights are REAL and FIGHT ALL THE TIME" - The age old misconception, and my Retort.

    I'm not going to copy their arguments, but I'll paraphrase it. I'm not trying to make them sound stupid or put them down. They were actually cool in the end Just using the summary of their argument as a jumping off point so I can share my own thoughts on 8. I put many of my posts together at the end. I may consolidate this into a blog and explain it better, but the rough draft (hehe) is here for now. I still need to work on differentiating 8 CORE from how MY 8 works. But the general idea is, 8s can definitely manipulate knowingly to get power (they're not "just real" ), and not all of them are going around starting fights; some will even stay out of it to consolidate power. I think this depends on the tritype - for instance, 862 Soc/Sp vs 853 Sp/So are different beasts - but either way they'll be using their other 'fixes' for the sake of getting power as an 8.

    _______

    Someone:
    I pick my battles. If I got caught up in every little battle, I would never move forward. I'd rather focus on my big-picture goals.

    Me:
    Yup, this is my take on it as an 8 fixer as well. 8s consolidate power which requires picking their battles. There's a line to 5, which reminds them to withhold involvement until something suits them. Why get all tangled up in pointless pursuits? Most of the time I let petty stuff go and laser-focus all my energy on the battles that matter most. Other people don't get to decide where I direct my attention.

    8s have the biggest energy of all and need to expend it, so they may aggress just for the hell of it. But it's not so much "defending themselves" from petty things, as it is just expending energy for their own gain or enjoyment. (Lust.) . I don't jump into fights, and I find most of them petty and not worth my time - but other people experience me as an assertive or aggressive person because I take what I want without much thought. For instance we run out of water, I hail the waiter - even though I speak in a whisper (due to physical impairment) and the restaurant is busy. I'm not the most sociable person, but when I'm out in the world I'm assertive and direct, going straight for what I want without thinking about how others might respond or if I'm "too much." My husband and friends love to remind me that I'm anything from 'bold' to 'brazen,' or else I likely wouldn't notice and would just think, "What's the problem. I ran out of water."

    Him:
    If you act unphased at an aggressor, they'll lose interest in picking on you and move on.

    Me:
    This is basically how I live my life. As a kid I was pretty quick to jump in and defend others from aggressors, but when it came to myself, I knew ignoring them would clear my path faster. 8 is expansive - and I am bigger than that. That said, core 8 might want to jump in for fun more than I do. I have a 3 wing on my core type, so it makes me aware of the message I'm sending to others, such as "if you act unphased, they won't get the satisfaction..."

    Someone:
    Your stance is weak, because you're "acting" and it isn't honest. You should always fight to defend your dignity, and never let anyone get away with anything, etc.

    Me:
    Personally, when people say they jump into fights because people "gave them shit" etc, it sounds like they're letting others control their life and use them as marionette puppets. That's what your post sounds like to me. Whereas I have a will of my own, I'm here to do what I'm doing, and other people won't stop me.

    If you stare at the enemy long enough you will become the enemy. I will become ME, nothing more , nothing less. Let them intimidate each other by saying "You're weak, you weakling, you won't fight.." yeah have fun in the pigpen. I'm a tiger not a pig. I'll fight for my food and defend my territory & family, my tribe, my vision, my goals, my morals. That's it. My destiny is up to me.

    Them:
    As a four you're projecting your fakeness onto others. 8s aren't aware of any act. Fours always project and try to get a reaction.

    Me:
    8s have a line to 2, and are very aware of how to manipulate for power. They also have a line to 5 and can be quite calculated. "Unawareness" is more the 9 realm. Although, in a different sense, all types are unaware which is why 9 crowns the enneagram.

    However the bedrock of type four is a sense of special uniqueness and separateness. 9 crowns the enneagram, representing a connection to 'the all,' whereas four and five are furthest from that and live in self-perceived 'separate' worlds. So, fours don't tend to project their behavior onto others -- they assume that they are just inherently different from those people. That, of course, is the trap. That's why four's holy idea is "holy origin" - the realization that they are cut from the same cloth as everyone else. Unique, expressive and individualistic - but not truly 'separate.'

    Projection is the primary defense mechanism of type six. You can read about this easily by googling 'basic enneagram defense mechanisms' and add words like 'projection' (six) 'rationalization' (seven) etc. Basic foundational stuff here. Very interesting too.

    Re: fighting or not - let me put my stance more simply.

    I am not fazed by bullshit. When I am "fazed" (more like, pissed off... no reason to water this down..) then people know it. Yes of course I would get pissed off by something like my family being attacked. I am not fazed by people's petty nonsense. For instance people 'get offended' about all kinds of things people say. I don't care for PC nitpicking. Real shit "fazes" me and I react accordingly, and whole-heartedly. It's not hard to understand.

    A lesson in consolidating power, 8w9 style.



    Getting 'fazed,' pissed off and bent out of shape over every little offense isn't power. That's the point I was making.

    Everyone acts. You're doing it right now. The sooner you accept reality, and what it means to be human, the stronger you will become. In enneagram, the question is not if someone acts. It's how, and for what.

    The idea that image types 'purposely' give off a false image - more than other types do - is false. First of all, everyone has an image fixation in their tritype. Secondly, 8 has a line to 2, 9 has a line to 3 and 1 has a line to 4. The whole gut triad is directly connected to some image type - which is another way to show that they cannot escape the "act."

    Shame is animalistic. For instance, when cats are dying, they go off in the corner alone. Elephants who are sick leave the pack behind, out of shame- and this protects the herd. It allows the other elephants to keep up their pace, and it prevents them from getting sick.

    If we had no shame, and nothing to hide, we would piss and shit in the street, pick our nose in public and yell out "I wanna fuck you right here!" whenever we saw a really hot person. (I'm not talking about ME or YOU specifically, I'm talking about humans at large.) But shame is an in-built mechanism to allow the species to survive. Since we have shame, we also develop habits that give us dignity. Such as using the bathroom privately, keeping our carnal desires with our lovers and not yelling them whenever we're turned on by some stranger... etc. People who don't follow these codes are locked away from society, which keeps society more sanitary and safe for everyone else. But those people might think , what's the problem? It's natural to hump someone who is hot and shit when I have to shit, no matter where I am.

    So you see, the shame of 'being seen as crazy/ugly/disgusting/creepy' does run deep within all of us. It may not be on a conscious level.

    There is no reason why 8s would be any exception to this. Therefore we have to acknowledge that 8s are also putting on some kind of persona, in order to be personable. They're not grabbing every crotch they want to, pissing in the street and punching passersby just for fun. Unless they're psychotic. And also, when an 8 is out with her friends, she might talk about desires or cruder topics, just as any type might. But when she's at work, she'll want to get paid so she'll show up in better clothes and act more appropriate. Everyone does this to some degree, unless they are outcasted, broke, or psychotic.

    So if you think most people are putting out false images of themselves and you're not, you might want to look more closely at yourself.



    All humans, one way or another, have to put on an act in order to survive and maintain dignity. The question is which one are you putting on? What is fake about you? Does it matter? This is a more productive and honest way at looking at so-called "fakeness," imo, than projecting it onto others.

    I strongly disagree that there are "bad reasons" to keep your dignity. Your definition of dignity clearly differs from mine. For me, it's being true to yourself. And acting like them (or like you) isn't being true to myself. However, like I said many times, I defend my interests and my morals.

    There's a big difference between vulnerability and voluntary weakness. I will defend people I see as "vulnerable" - but I do my best not to enable "voluntary weakness."
    Last edited by Animal; 11-05-2019, 01:10 AM.

    #2
    fucking....preach

    people with 5 and 8 in their tritype in any order are not wreckless barbarians. they're strategic, stoic, focused on plans and goals to acquire longterm power rather than fighting petty gang wars. a lot of the time, they probably mistype as 1 for this reason because they don't all look like Gene Simmons or Randa Rousey. acquiring power requires intelligence, competence and patience, not acting like a viking stereotype.

    also, keep in mind that the original literature refers to 8s as over-justice. the core neuroses of 8 stem from a feeling that their boundaries, person, territory, rights, etc have been violated. sure, they don't have 1's fixation of being good, correct, etc, but anyone talking about "who am I to say what's right or wrong?" is almost certainly a 9 fixer. not 8 or 1, both of which have very strong opinions on justice.
    Last edited by BalalaikaBoy; 11-21-2019, 06:37 AM.

    Comment


      #3
      BalalaikaBoy 9s and 9 fixers have opinions too, buddy. they're not spineless opinionless floating leafs in the wind like they're so often described
      Turning pain into power.

      Comment


      • [redacted]
        [redacted] commented
        Editing a comment
        they might be more likely to keep it to themselves, though

      #4
      Agree RALA . I hadn't addressed this here yet but I spoke to BalalaikaBoy about it in PM. I haven't had time but I'd really like to get a thread going on the reality of 9 vs the ridiculous misconceptions. Nine is not about keeping opinions to themself [redacted] nor is it about having no opinions. 9 is a gut type, and very much cares about justice, right & wrong, etc. Ichazo calls it the over-nonconformist because it is an attachment type, therefore has a defiant edge.

      I have met some 9s and 9 fixers who are not too keen on conflict, and then I've met others who love arguing and defending their opinions, and who get into physical fights. A great example of a badass, unfuckwithable 9 character is Brad Pitt's character in "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood." He beats the living crap out of people who insult him and his. He's defiant. Badass. But in his particular case, the 9 shows in his aimlessness in his own life. He floats from job to job, and backs up others, even though he's gorgeous and could easily be employed in Hollywood in a more important role. He always manages to fuck up any real opportunity by getting into fights over some small thing. In his particular case this is the self-undermining of the 9-6 line.

      The point is not really that 9s 'avoid conflict' and 'have no opinions' - this is downright dehumanizing. It's that in some crucial area they may fail to show up; fall asleep to themselves through actions that don't really move things forward in a larger way. However they are gut types and thus they will be focused on the anger, justice, opinions and "taking up space" department. The way this plays out is not always the same. 9s will take up too much space or not enough. For the same 9, this may fluctuate. It's not either-or. Just like sixes can be cowardly or courageous. No need to "flatten" type 9 down to some cartoonish stereotype of someone with no personality.

      Note that Robin Jayne Goldsmith is keeping an ongoing blog ---> AT THIS LINK <--- and will be commenting on the dynamics of types, too. She has started some writing about 9 already.
      Last edited by Animal; 11-21-2019, 06:46 PM.

      Comment


      • [redacted]
        [redacted] commented
        Editing a comment
        I did not say they were about not having opinions, but that they might be likelier to keep it to themselves. there is a difference and I don't think of it as something so negative.

      • Animal
        Animal commented
        Editing a comment
        I disagree though. 9s are often very expressive about their opinions. In fact, 1s / 1 fixes often won't express opinions because they think it's wrong or unjustified to express it right then; some 8s/ 8 fixes might not express it because they are consolidating power and it leaves them at a disadvantage, and some 9s might not in order to save their energy. But there's nothing in 9 specifically that makes them less likely to express an opinion. I mean cmon.. Line to six.

      #5
      this is one of those "which author's views do you listen to?" questions. Ichazo makes 9s sound more predatory than 8s. Naranjo, Palmer, Fauvres, R&H, Tom Condon, etc all say just the opposite: that 9 is a highly self-forgetting type who generally doesn't like conflict, struggles to know what they really want, tends to stew in quiet (often completely unconscious anger) and "apologizes for taking up space". James Fauntleroy talks about how he knows what he wants when he's alone, but the most other people (esp. those with strong opinions) show up, he just...forgets. indeed, all of the center types struggle with a bit with a stable sense of identity. many 9s I've talked to felt ashamed of their anger, esp. in childhood. they felt like they were a burden/in the way, that they needed to be the peacekeeper when things went wrong, even 9w8s ("the referee" is honestly a good label for them).

      when I'm dealing with 9s, the first time we hang out, I will say "let's order pizza, I'm not getting anything, what do you want?". so they tell me, and because they know their choice won't effect me, they actually say what they want, so next time we order two pizzas and I order what they got last time for them (replace "pizza" with whatever we eat that day. I actually don't eat a ton of carbs, that's just an easy example).

      It's a bit like how we ask "is 2 this Mother Teresa/Mr. Rogers type, or is it Madonna, Napoleon, Cleopatra and Casanova" (a la Naranjo)? I don't 100% believe one or the other, just like I don't 100% believe any description (ex: half of the Social 7s sound like 1s and 2w1s), because I have to run it through observations and whether or not they make consistent sense, but in this instance, I lean closer to the majority opinion because so many of the 9s I've observed are just like that: you can feel the ANGER radiating off of them, but they're unaware of it, try to bury it/narc out. generally, I find I'll say something and they're one of the people to say "omg, thank you! that's exactly what I was thinking but I wouldn't have been able to say it!"

      I've observed 9s grow into more assertive figures, more articulate figures, more focused figures, but they don't start out that way. they have to learn to "find their voice" (a rare instance in which that vomitous white gurl cliche is actually relevant). 8s and 1s tend to have certainty right out the gate. not on everything obviously, but they trust that internal sense of justice more readily than 9s, even if 8s might consciously hold back for strategic reasons (not type related, that's just being smart) or 1s may hold back until an appropriate time.

      Comment


        #6
        I completely agree with most of what you said in the OP here. But I would add a little bit of...nuance?

        I think there's some truth to the idea that "8s are real," but not in the sense you were arguing against (I think). Core 8s (generally; certain other fixes might impact this) lack the ability to "read the room" and adjust on the fly in the way that, for instance, a 3 typically excels at. And they're not typically inclined to manipulate, because that feels like a waste of time and energy.

        But that isn't the same thing as saying that they never curate what parts of them people see. The job example is an excellent one.

        Plus there's the fact that 8s, like everyone, hopefully grow up at some point, so where an immature 8 might have no filter, even at work, we all -- 8s included -- eventually learn that playing by a certain set of rules is more effective for getting us where we want to go than ignoring them.
        Rachel

        Comment


        • a2jc4life
          a2jc4life commented
          Editing a comment
          That video that Daeva posted of the guitarist on Australia's Got Talent is actually a really good example, I think, of that inability to read the room. He may or may not be able to look back *later* and realize what happened, but he was completely blind in the moment to how he was being received. He wasn't trying to be a jerk. He wasn't trying to be unlikeable. But he wasn't picking up on the fact that the people he was talking to weren't appreciating his jokes.

        • Daeva
          Daeva commented
          Editing a comment
          I actually found a video later where that guitarist came back and apologized. They let him play and he got to the next round. Still, I think the jury should've been the ones to apologize, not him, but it does show that even though 8's can lack the ability to read the room with nuance, they can still care about affecting people and not wanting to be a jerk.

        • a2jc4life
          a2jc4life commented
          Editing a comment
          Right. The "8s are all assholes" trope gets old. Not every 8 is just out to be obnoxious all the time.
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