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How Anger Manifests In The Gut Center

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    #16
    RALA
    I don't think 9s avoid conflict because they're weak. What they're afraid of is what might happen when they don't hold back. They actually perceive themselves as much bigger than most people, that they can do massive damage if they aren't careful. In that sense, they're more confident than 8s, who still have a strong desire to grab power.

    Animal

    this is possibly part of what Eli Jaxon Bear meant when he described 9's communication style as "saga". 9s are often mistaken for being more spiritual than they actually are because they view people and events like the narrator of a story. they look at all the other characters with their silly ego-fixations, being the only one to realize the futility of it all, how they're all driven by neurotic ego fixations. David Fauvre calls this the "ego preference for not having ego preferences", and I think it sums up how 9s, underneath it all, they often view themselves as more powerful than 8s (though they usually don't embrace it the way 8s do. often they see it as a burden where 8s lust after more power, territory, physical strength, etc) and minimize more than 8s.

    long story short, 9 is the "strong and silent type" because their mindset is "if you're truly strong, you don't need to respond". it's not always humble or simple either. sometimes it comes with an attitude which is extremely condescending. many 9s are masters of condescending 1 liners. "shut you down in one punch" type communication. it drives me up the wall because my debate-y ass is like "go fuck yourself. get back here and explain....", and they never do.

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      #17
      I think there's a truth to this, as...a baseline, maybe? It's a hard thing to articulate, but there are almost "layers" to anger, where each layer displays differently.

      As an example, my husband is a 9 and I'm an 8w7. And we both can blow up, but it's different. I blow fast and hard, and that generally then "clears" the anger completely. There is not an ongoing undercurrent. It's more like a series of explosions that might range from small pops to major explosions.

      My husband doesn't have all the little explosions; he simmers under the surface. And then when something happens to finally set him off, it's a big explosion and usually out of proportion to whatever was the catalyst, because it isn't just that one thing fueling it, it's everything leading up to it.

      So the in-the-moment explosion can look a lot alike for both of us. But the under-the-surface is different.
      Rachel

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        #18
        Hard for me to imagine generalized anger. Anger to me seems like something that is by nature an acute feeling. I mean I see most emotions as specific, but it's easier to imagine sadness or dread in a generalized manner, because sadness is like a vast ocean lol, while anger is like you said, spiked and reactive. (And it's not about feeling more sad or more angry, but about different ways they are experienced)

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          #19
          I'm a pretty stereotypical 9 in the sense that I have like no temper and I just walk around feeling irritable all the time. The only real temper I have comes out when I'm stressed, and even then that's more me stress sceaming in private. There's many reasons why I hold my anger back. For me, I think anger is just a bad emotion, like there's no real good that can come from it. Sadness I find a beauty in, fear is unpleasant but something we need, and anger I see as something that can hurt others. Plus, conflict just does not feel good. Even if there's no yelling or anything, there's just this tenseness in the air and it makes me feel defeated. And yeah, I relate to the fear of seperation a lot. When I argue with a person, my biggest fear in the end is that the person will leave. If that person left me, it's like part of me is gone and it makes me feel dazed and lost. It takes me a long time to get over people because they are part of my identity.

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          • [redacted]
            [redacted] commented
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            In what way are they a part of your identity? What is it like?

          #20
          [redacted] It's kind of hard to describe, but it's like since I spend so much time with them that I almost define myself on them, like I do with my interests. Also, I relate to how 9s merge a lot. When I make a new friend, I take on a lot of their traits, like I start talking like them or I find myself becoming interested in their interests.

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          • [redacted]
            [redacted] commented
            Editing a comment
            I see. Well I can have the feeling of losing certain people being like death, but I don't think in terms of identity or see them as a part of me, so I wonder if that goes a step deeper.
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